Blue Entity: A Fine Art Self Portrait Project
I have always been drawn to the idea that in many cultures throughout history, hair holds profound symbolic significance. That is why throughout different phases of my life, changing my hair in a meaningful way to express myself. Common times that called for a change of hair were, when it was time to let go of the past, to start a new chapter or when I was ready for a drastic change. The last time I changed my hair color was at the end of 2019, as a way of symbolizing a new era where I would be full of passion and inspiration. I went from black which symbolized being completely devoid of passion, to red… the color of fire, the color of blood and desire. It was in this era I experienced some of the most insane experiences of my life here on earth.
Recently I started feeling really cold and apathetic. A lot of things have happened that have brought me to a place where I feel this deep need to recede, the red in my hair faded so much and I had no desire to re-dye it. Its been really difficult for me emotionally to accept how tragic everything is and how powerless i’ve started to feel. There lives a deep deep sadness within. I felt the need to surrender and I knew it was time to go blue. In the light of this feeling i’ve been in this deep state of self reflection. Ive been viewing my life and my choices as though I were an outsider looking in.
One sad and gloomy afternoon I sat on the porch with my friend and expressed that I felt like I was going in the wrong direction and that I had been feeling very disconnected with my art and that was adding to my deep sadness. After a long conversation, I had a realization that I hadn’t created a photography concept or completed a project in a long time. The very next day I took out my notebook and I started to write. What came out was a series of images I would like to create that would encompass every archetype that rules the majority of my life. I have created a series of ideas and I am going to make the attempt to follow my dreame of creating fine art photography.
I present to you the first image.
Blue Entity - Her essence roams in the shadows, like a ghost, but instead of haunting, she is haunted by the knowledge of all that is and all that must be. Haunted, by the passing of time and its impending doom, it’s inevitable destructive nature. Darkness is the state in which she resides. Cold and empty and in constant mourning of all that was and all that was lost. For all that will be and for all that will one day also disappear.
